Not Made for You
by Skye Maxwell
Summary: Tamaki realizes some important things: he's an idiot, and he loves Haruhi, though it may be unrequited. Is he right for her, or is his heart wrong? When Haruhi unexpectedly visits, what will he do? Post-anime.
1. An Idiot All Along

**This was originally intended to be a oneshot, but it looks like it'll end up having at least one more chapter, perhaps more. This takes place a while after the end of the anime. It has some similarities to parts of the manga, but you do not have to have read the manga to read this. (Although, you should! It's fantastic! And much longer and involved than the anime...) Please enjoy!**

* * *

I watch as an entire day goes by.

I walk into the kitchen.

She's wearing a cute apron and an even cuter expression as she smiles and hands me a lunch that she made just for me.

She drew Kuma-chan on the front of the bag, and as I examine her crooked little doodle, she straightens my tie and tells me to have a good day at work.

I tell her I love her, and, blushing, she tells me that she loves me too.

I hastily scoop her up into my arms, shamelessly freaking out about how cute she is and spinning her around.

I fast forward through a day at work where I do dry business-type things and just long to get back to her.

She is right there at the door when I come home. The light from the setting sun dances off the diamond on her finger. She is radiant.

We have her homemade dinner under the kotatsu.

She then comes to my side of the kotatsu and settles herself next to me, holding tightly onto Kuma-chan. I'm very glad that they've become such good friends.

She falls asleep in my arms. I kiss the top of her head, and everything is right in the world.

Until I wake up.

Everything is right in the world until I wake up and realize that I'm in the Suoh second mansion, I'm alone, and I was having the same stupid dream again.

It's a culmination of all the childish daydreams I used to have. I've lost count of how many times that dream has invaded my head. I used to like it. I used to hope for it to come. Now, when I don't want it to come ever again, it won't leave me alone. Even now, she won't leave me alone.

I realized a while ago that I loved her. Somehow I broke through my denseness and realized that what I felt for her wasn't paternal affection. I didn't want my cute little daughter to love her daddy, I wanted a beautiful girl named Haruhi to love her host club king, her princely type, her _big idiot_...

I don't know why I didn't realize this earlier. I've been called an idiot on many different occasions by many different people, including Haruhi herself, but I never took it seriously. Now that I know that they were all right about me, it's just embarrassing.

Needing someone to pour my heart out to, I snatch my cell phone off of my nightstand and hit number one on my speed dial. It rings about seven times before he answers. Before he says anything, I hear him moving, probably rolling over to look at his clock to see that it is indeed six in the morning on a Saturday and that his rage has ample justification.

"What do you want, you idiot?" Kyoya says angrily, making my heart beat faster with nervousness, feeling as if he'll reach through the phone to strangle me. I should know better than to call him this early, but... no one understands me quite like Kyoya. That is evidenced by the fact that he calls me an idiot more than anyone else. I need to talk to someone about this _right now, _or I might implode.

"Mommy, I miss our daughter," I start out, having not broken the habit of calling her my daughter when I talked about her.

"You're not my husband, and Haruhi is not our child," he growls groggily.

"I know," I say sadly, feeling as stupid as ever.

"I'm going to kill you," he adds. The completely genuine-sounding threat sends a shiver down my spine, but I must be strong. I have to tell my best friend what's going on with me.

"Mommy," I say again, not even thinking about it. "I miss Haruhi. It's driving me crazy."

"You were already crazy," he states, his voice gradually increasing in volume and anger. "Only a crazy _idiot_ like you would be up this early thinking of such stupid things. Go back to bed, you moron, and maybe you'll wake up and be a bit less of an idiot!"

"You're so mean!" I whimper, feeling as if I might not be strong enough to take this onslaught of early-morning insults from a seething Kyoya. "Kyoya, I've realized something very important."

"That you're an idiot?"

"Well, yes, that too, but I've also realized something more important. I've realized that I love Haruhi," I say gravely, but it does feel good to get it off my chest. My relief is short-lived, however, as Kyoya does not respond. I quickly wrap my blanket around myself, feeling something like a cold wind as I await Kyoya's response.

He finally says, "Are you sure you've realized how much of an idiot you are?"

"Momm-"

"Of course you love her, you idiot!"

"No, Kyoya, you don't understand. I... I don't love her like a father loves his daughter. I realize that now. I love her in a very different way than I thought I did. Kyoya, I love Haruhi... I want to buy her a kotatsu so that we can sit under it together for the rest of our lives. You too, of course, will be welcome to sit under our kotatsu-"

"Stop fantasizing, you idiot! And keep me out of your delusions!"

He is about to reach his boiling point.

"Kyoya, I miss her so much..."

"Then you shouldn't have let her go!" he yells, and the line goes dead.

I close my phone and try to hold back my tears, trying to console myself with the fact that Kyoya only yelled at me because he doesn't like to be awake early.

There are some things I know for certain about Kyoya. One: he is terribly scary in the morning, in a way that makes my heart tremble in fear. Two: he really does care for me. Three: he is usually- almost always- right.

I hear a scratching at my door, and I go and answer it, knowing that it is Antoinette. She is also an early riser.

As soon as I open the door, she bursts through and tackles me, knocking me to the floor.

"Antoinette!" I cry helplessly as she lovingly attacks my face, coating me with wet affection.

When she finally calms down a bit, I tell her, "Antoinette, I need to talk to you."

She plops down onto the ground by my side and cocks her head curiously. She has always been very perceptive.

"I just called Kyoya. He yelled at me," I say, frowning.

Antoinette's face is a mixture of emotion. She seems to be thinking that I should not be surprised by Kyoya doing such a thing, but she also seems to be plotting on my behalf to attack Kyoya with love the next time he visits because she knows he doesn't like it.

"Ah, there's no need to get revenge on Kyoya for me, Antoinette," I say calmly, stroking her head. She seems a bit disappointed. "Kyoya had the right to yell at me, I suppose. I'm an idiot."

Antoinette vigorously shakes her head.

"No, Antoinette, it's true! I didn't think so either, but I've realized that I am quite an idiot."

She looks at me with big, sympathetic eyes. She probably knew that I was an idiot all along...

"I told Kyoya that I love Haruhi."

Antoinette is not surprised at all.

"No, not like a father loves a daughter, like a man loves a woman."

Antoinette stands up and makes spastic barking and howling noises, her eyes wide with utter shock.

"Shh, girl. Sit down."

She obeys, but she still looks shocked. "I know, it's quite surprising, isn't it?" I say with a small smile as I resume petting her head.

The smile fades fast, though. "I miss her, Antoinette. I don't know what to do."

Sensing my sadness, Antoinette plops herself over my chest and nuzzles my arm with her cold nose.

It's been months since she left. I don't want to remember how many months it's been, because that just makes it hurt worse. She was offered a scholarship to study abroad for a semester while still being able to retain her scholarship at Ouran. She took the offer, of course. Why wouldn't she? What would keep her here?

The thought is painful, and Antoinette nuzzles my arm more fervently.

I'm so selfish. I wanted to be the thing that kept her here. I wanted her to hesitate to take the offer because of _me_.

After all she did that day to stop me from leaving Ouran, and then she just decides to travel thousands of miles away to study abroad. She didn't tell me about it, or anyone else, until she was sure that she was going. She had already decided without consulting any of us.

I thought that she cared about me to an extent, but I guess that extent did not go as far as I thought. She did not tell me of her decision personally, but she announced it at the host club, while our guests were present. She said it casually and with a smile, as if it was not a big deal. She said she would be returning after a semester abroad, which would end in late January.

After her little speech, she was met with a multitude of protests. All of the guests rushed over to her, begging her not to go. She shrugged it all off, saying that she would miss everyone at Ouran and would not be gone that long. She said the opportunity was too good to pass up and that she would be foolish to not take it, especially since such a good opportunity might not come again.

Hikaru, Kaoru, and Honey clung to her, sobbing and telling her that she was not allowed to go. I just watched it all unfold from my couch, unable to move. The three of them were smothering her, and she glanced over at Mori as if she was about to yell for him to rescue her.

Instead, he walked over and said, "Mitsukuni, please get off of Haruhi."

Sniffling, Honey removed himself from Haruhi, as did the twins.

"Haruhi," Mori said seriously, looking her straight in the eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, Mori-senpai, I'm sure," she said confidently.

"Takashi!"

"Mori-senpai!"

Honey and the twins moved over to Mori and attached themselves to him instead of Haruhi, crying even harder than before. Mori placed a comforting hand on the head of Honey, who was wrapped around his leg. "It's what she wants, Mitsukuni. She'll be back."

Haruhi smiled at him happily, and he gave her a small smile back.

She then told everyone that she was sorry but had to leave the club early today to go home and pack, seeing as she would be leaving the next day.

As she went toward the door, leaving a crowd of weeping, sniffling, and hysteria behind her, Kyoya, who was standing by my couch, spoke up.

"Haruhi?"

She turned to look at him. "Ah, don't worry, Kyoya-senpai, I have not forgotten about my debt. I will begin working on paying it off again as soon as I return from studying abroad."

I tried to catch her gaze, which was was not far from me, settled on Kyoya. He nodded and said pleasantly, "Be safe, Haruhi."

They also exchanged smiles, and with that, she left. Not once did she even look at me.

I remained on the couch, still unable to move or speak.

"Tamaki..." Kyoya said from his spot near the couch.

I looked at him, and the look he gave me only furthered my state of confusion. There was an uncertainty in his eyes, and a hint of something else. Anger? Disbelief?

I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know what to think at all.

"Well," he said resignedly, "If you're just going to sit there, I'm going to go get some tissues for our guests."

After he had gotten a whole cart of tissues and started offering them to the girls, I got up and left the third music room without a word to anyone.

_I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand..._

Haruhi.

I muse over her name in my head.

"Haruhi," I say out loud, the name sounding good on my lips and utterly heartbreaking at the same time. "Haruhi... Maybe..." I tell Antoinette, "...she's not the one for me."

Antoinette's face is covered in compassion.

"Or rather, I am not the one for her. I truly thought I was... I don't know... perfect for her, and her for me. I thought that she and I had some sort of understanding, even if we hadn't yet voiced it in words. If she could leave me the way she did, perhaps what she feels... _felt... _for me does not resemble my feelings for her at all. Maybe I am not perfect for her at all."

I say the words, but everything in me does not wish to believe that they are true. I put my head in my hands, and Antoinette just whimpers quietly as I fall apart.

_If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

* * *

**Kuma-chan is Beary's Japanese name, in case you didn't know.  
The idea for this came to me after listening to the lovely "If You're Not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield.  
Please review? :)**


	2. Has to Mean Something

**Flashback time! This chapter references the last episode of the anime.**

* * *

It is the night of the Ouran fair, and she is no longer disguised as a boy. She looks unusually happy to be in a dress for once, minus the wig, and watching her make her way comfortably through the crowd of Ouran students makes my heart happy.

Today, she went after me. She took a huge risk. She saved me from an arranged marriage and a road full of regrets; from a road without her.

That has to mean something, doesn't it? She hijacked a carriage and got thrown off of a bridge just to stop me from leaving, for crying out loud.

Please tell me that she wouldn't just do that for anyone. If she would, then she's going to die young acting so rashly and throwing caution to the wind like that.

I have to mean something to her, right? Extreme actions should have extreme reasons behind them, shouldn't they?

It has to mean she loves me... doesn't it?

What else could it possibly mean?

Thinking about it so much is making my stomach hurt and my legs unstable.

I'm happy, _so _happy, that I'm here at Ouran still with Haruhi and Kyoya and everyone in the host club. I'm happy that the club will stay together and that everyone really enjoys what we have together. Deep in my soul, there's a resounding happiness greater than I've felt in a long time. I have so many reasons to be happy tonight, and there's a smile on my face, but why is there still a weight pressing down on me?

When Haruhi made me realize on that bridge that none of the hosts actually felt put out by the host club, I felt incredibly stupid. I can read people so well sometimes, but at other times, I can't read them at all.

It's uncertainty. That's what's pressing on me. I can infer that she feels the same for me as I do for her by her actions, but my inferences aren't enough, and since I'm now aware that my skills at reading people are a lot less accurate than I thought, I'm as lost on what she's thinking as ever.

I watch her as she dances with the other hosts. As she dances with Honey-senpai, she somehow manages to look pretty while also looking like she's going to barf from spinning so much. When Mori-senpai takes her hand, she looks relieved. He is much calmer, and she cranes her neck up to see the serene face of our tallest host. When she is traded off to Kaoru, they stay in place and just sway lightly back and forth until he spins her to his awaiting brother. Haruhi accidentally grabs hold of his injured arm, and after a pained yell, Haruhi guiltily takes extra care not to hurt him again.

I patiently wait while they dance, and I can actually see the folds of material covering my chest moving as my heart beats rapidly underneath them. I really can't help myself. I love my daughter so much.

She finally is before me, and I extend my hand to her.

And then a hand reaches out from nowhere and makes a sudden interception.

Kyoya!

This must be payback for the trouble he had to go through for me today. Well, if he had to go through that much trouble to keep me here, then he must want things to stay the way they are.

So, I of course start on a jealous rampage, ranting and raving and flailing and telling Mommy to give our daughter back.

Haruhi is smiling up at him as they try to dance away, and I see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, though he otherwise seems to remain unresponsive to my hollering.

He's so mean!

He's so cruel!

He's so-

He's the best friend ever, because he pushes Haruhi over to me so that we can have the final dance.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Kyoya?

After a grateful nod to him, I invite Haruhi to dance with me, and she graciously accepts.

I pretend to straighten my suit jacket with both hands, but I'm really wiping off my sweaty palms. The effort doesn't go wasted, though, as she takes my hand and we begin to dance. As I feel her small hand perfectly fitted in mine, I have to swallow hard and try not to look like I'm about to lose the battle to my shaky knees and faint. That would not be very princely of me.

She smiles at me, a smile different from the ones she offered to the others, and my heart squeezes as I think about the fact that I'm here because of her. This is where she wants me to be.

We move around quite easily; she follows my lead pretty well for a clumsy vase-breaker. My daughter has grown up so much. I almost want to put her back in her uniform because she's looking a bit too pretty, and I don't really want to share my Haruhi, the one who went the extra mile to save me.

Why did she do what she did? The thought still won't leave me now, even as she's so close and so gorgeous and so comfortable in my arms.

_If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?  
If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?  
If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?  
If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?_

A crazy idea hits me, and I have the sudden desire to ask her about her feelings for me. I don't think I can wait; I don't think I can deal with the uncertainty. She's here in front of me _right now._What better time could there be?

Suddenly, fireworks start going off high above the school, and with her hands in mine, she looks up at the spectacle, mesmerized.

I can't ask her now.

I watch the fireworks dancing in her eyes, and I think it's a sign that it's not the right time.

Perhaps I should get a better handle on my feelings for her before I ask her about hers. Yes, that's what I'll do. I think I know better now than to make hasty assumptions or to jump too quickly into a questionable or unwanted situation.

But for now, I'll just enjoy the feeling of her touch and the warmth that she's bringing me. What we have right now is something to be more than content with.

Our time will come; I know it. I don't know what's in store for Haruhi and me, but I know that it has to be something magnificent, something huge, something_ lasting_...

Yes, something lasting. That is what I think I want for the two of us.

_I never know what the future brings  
But I know you're here with me now  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

"Tamaki-senpai?" she says lightly.

I look down at her face, lit up by the distant explosions of color, and I try to hold in tears.

I'm just so happy.

Not trusting myself to speak, I bend down and pull her into the calmest hug I've ever given her, and she, to my surprise, hugs me back. She hugs me back _hard._

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

This surely has to mean something, doesn't it?


	3. Need to Run

**This chapter is back in the present.**

* * *

We're sitting under the kotatsu. We just had a lovely dinner made by Haruhi herself, and she is holding on tightly to Kuma-chan. She's in my arms and quickly falling asleep, but this time, I don't let her drift off.

"Haruhi?"

"Yes, Tamaki?" she says drowsily, looking almost too adorable as she glances up at me with heavy-lidded eyes.

"Haruhi, why are you so far away?" I ask sadly, not able to keep looking into her eyes.

"Tamaki, I'm right here," she responds, confused.

"No, you're not, Haruhi. You're all the way in America without me. Being without you... it's killing me..."

"I'm right here," she repeats, looking at the both of us just to make sure we're both there, but I shake my head. She doesn't understand.

"No... you're _not._ You don't need me, Haruhi. That's why you left without warning; you don't need me, or anyone."

"You're right," she says, and even though she is just agreeing with my point, it still hurts me to hear her say that. She waits and then adds, "You know, you don't need me either, senpai."

I shake my head vigorously and repeatedly say, "That's not true, Haruhi. That's not true. That's not true at all."

Tears well up in my eyes as I say the words over and over again, and I don't know which one of us I am trying to convince.

She wriggles closer to me, and even though I'm upset, I can't help but tighten my arms around her. I lift her right hand into mine and absentmindedly play with her diamond between my fingers, my mind racing with mixed emotions.

"Please, senpai..." she begins, and my heart clutches, filled with sorrow yet ready to meet whatever request she has. "Just let me stay here."

I want to remind her that she has gone away and that her request cannot be fulfilled. She cannot remain in my arms if she is gone, if she is not here to begin with... but I remain silent and just nod my head, not knowing what else to do.

_Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?_

My eyes slip open and adjust to the surrounding darkness. Instead of my usual violent thrashing around upon waking from that dream, I just lay on my back, completely still. I stare straight up at the ceiling, but my focus is suddenly blurred by an onslaught of unwanted tears. Instead of moving to wipe them away, I let them flow, hot and unheeded, down the sides of my face and onto my pillow. I feel paralyzed and pathetic and incredibly_ lost_, even though I'm very much aware of my lonely location.

I had thought that that dream was as torturous as it could get, but with this new variation that touched a little too close to home, it is even more unbearable. The reality- the distance between Haruhi and I- is even more unbearable. The truth of the fact that she is not mine and probably never will be is even more unbearable.

_If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?  
If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head?  
If you're not for me, then why does this distance maim my life?  
If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?_

I shut my eyes tight when I've had enough of my own stupid crying, but the insistent tears still spill out. Once again, the image appears on the back of my eyelids. There we are, under the kotatsu, holding each other.

My eyelids fly open, my breathing hitches, my jaw clenches... I'm a complete mess. I feel suddenly feverish. I already skipped school today because of my ill feelings, but now I feel even worse.

"Why do I even love that commoner so much?" I angrily ask myself out loud as I sit up and clutch my chest.

As soon as I say it, I regret it. I silently apologize to her as I run my hand through my hair and then use my blanket to wipe off my face. Not even my superior pretending skills can convince me that there is no reason to love her. Nothing can convince me to lower the pedestal I put Haruhi on in my mind by even a fraction of a centimeter.

I love her because she's amazing.

Even when I just take a long blink, the image of us in each other's arms is there as if it's tattooed on my eyelids.

_I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?_

I need to run.

I just... need to get up out of bed and run.

I look at the clock and see that it's already 11:30 at night, but I decide that it doesn't matter. I need to run, or I'll explode.

Quietly, I roll out of bed and slip on a pair of sneakers, opting to not change out of my pajamas.

I walk cautiously out of my room, down the hallway, and down the main staircase, hoping not to wake anyone, especially anyone who would try to stop me from going out.

As I raise my hand to open the front door, a voice says, "Going somewhere, Master Tamaki?"

I look behind me in fear to see Shima-san standing there in the darkness with what might be a disapproving look- I can't quite tell with only the dim light of the moon coming through the front windows revealing her face...

My composure immediately fails me, and I desperately whimper, "I need to run."

"Distressed, Master Tamaki?" she asks with a knowing concern that she does not show.

"Yes, Shima-san, I'm afraid so."

"Is it wise for you to go running at this hour, especially when your condition prevented you from going to school today?"

I can tell that she's known this whole time that I didn't miss school for real physical sickness. I had claimed to have some sort of stomach sickness this morning, but I guess she did not buy it. Her searching eyes make me feel guilty. I wonder if she can tell that I am experiencing a sickness of the heart?

"Shima-san, I... I just need to run... please," I say, my eyes pleading with her, asking her to forgive me and to show mercy and let me go and sort myself out.

"Stay on the property, I want you back here before that clock hits twelve, and don't make yourself more sick." She says the last part with a certain tone that once again reminds me that she knew all along that I was not sick. "Otherwise, you're on house arrest, and I'm putting a baby monitor in your room so I can have some idea of what you're always talking to yourself and Antoinette about."

"Thank you so much, Shima-san," I say, bowing to her, greatly relieved at having her permission, even if she gave it in that indirect way of hers.

I turn to go out the door, but she stops me in my tracks when she says, "One more thing, Master Tamaki."

"Yes?" I turn and say, feeling a bit antsy at having to pause again when my legs are trembling with the desire to run.

"If you love her, you need to tell her."

I look at her questioningly and then a slight warmth comes over my cheeks. How does she always know these things about me? How does she understand me so well?

_Why didn't she tell me that earlier?_

She always waits until after I make my idiotic mistakes to advise me.

"Just think about that on your run, Master Tamaki," she suggests. "Remember, back here, midnight and not a second later."

"Yes, Shima-san. Thank you. I will think about that," I tell her, bowing again respectfully but straightening up stiffly as my heart is newly weighed down by her words.

As I madly dash in circles around the property, I keep going faster and faster, pushing myself harder and harder. I start to feel a slight a burning sensation in my lungs, but I ignore it in favor of the cool wind on my face and the loosening of my muscles as they release some of their anxiety.

I close my eyes for a few seconds, but the all-too-familiar scene reappears. My eyes snap open, just in time to see myself tripping over my own feet and plunging face-first toward the wet grass. I crash onto the damp ground on my knees and slide forward a foot or two, messing up the finely manicured grass in the process.

I immediately get up with determination to start running again, but as I stand there, covered in mud and stray pieces of grass, I stop and begin to talk myself.

"Why do I keep running?" I ask myself. My breaths are ragged, not from running, but from the pain in my heart. "Is running around my yard like an idiot really going to solve anything? I already ran away today when I skipped school. I've been running away from my feelings ever since I started to love her. When she was leaving, I ran away from confrontation by just sitting there and watching her leave."

I look up at the star-studded sky, and I think about how Haruhi is off in America, underneath this same sky.

"Haruhi! I love you!" I announce in a pained yell toward the sky, as if my message will be conveyed to her as the night sky rolls across the world to where she is. I want to take the words back because I know that I'm not supposed to be with her, but at the exact same time, I don't. My heart won't let me accept that I'm not made to be with her.

As a single tear runs down my face, I realize I can't run anymore. I don't have the strength.

I sink to my knees, fold my hands on my lap, and stare intently up at the stars, wondering if Haruhi ever looks up to see them and thinks of the people and the home she left behind.

Even though I may not exactly feel well, I will go to school tomorrow. I must get a hold of myself. I can't miss my classes or let Kyoya get too lonely without me or disappoint the lovely guests of the host club again.

As for Shima-san's suggestion... well, I can't stop running completely. Not all at once. Not just yet, anyways.

I'm not ready. It sounds easy, but love is just not an easy thing. Not for me, anyways.

Not for an idiot.

_I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way... that I could stay..._


	4. Mother's Business

So much for coming to school to save Kyoya from getting too lonely without me.

I didn't really have time to talk to him during classes, he ran off to take a phone call during lunch, and right after the last class of the day, he totally threw me off by saying that he had to leave school immediately for a business reason.

"Business?" I had said. Why hadn't he told me about it earlier? "What about the host club?" I'd asked worriedly, as if he needed reminding.

"I'm afraid I'll have to miss the first part of club activities today," he explained nonchalantly, "but I should be able to make it back before club activities end."

I could tell that he did not want to elaborate on whatever "business" he had, so I did not question him further, despite my burning curiosity. I knew that Kyoya would not miss the host club without good reason.

He had looked at his watch then, hinting to me that he needed to go without directly saying it.

"Well..." I said, reluctant to go to the club without him, "...just hurry back, okay, Mommy?"

"Of course, Daddy," he said with a smirk. "You'll wait for me, right?" he added as a genuine request, sounding a bit too much like a host to be addressing me, his aggravating idiot of a best friend.

"Sure," I said warily, but he had already turned to make his way out of the building before I could give in to the temptation to interrogate him and find out his intentions.

The guests left ten minutes ago. Kyoya still isn't here.

I want to call him and ask him where he is, but I know better than to do that when Kyoya might be busy. Then again, I'm worried. He said he would be back by now, and Kyoya is not one to break his word.

I really did try my best to entertain the guests as usual today, but despite my efforts, they could tell that something was obviously wrong with me. They actually figured out the reason for my underlying sadness rather quickly.

Many of my lovely guests had sympathetically expressed sentiments such as: "Yes, it does feel like something is missing today." "Poor Tamaki-senpai, you're so sweet to miss Kyoya-kun like this." "It's so cute that the two of you are best friends." "It does feel strange to have only five hosts instead of seven." "It just shows how vital each member of the host club is." "Yes, I really do miss Kyoya-kun and Haruhi-kun."

When they mentioned Kyoya, I tried to bite my tongue and not express my sorrow at his not being there, but when the conversation turned to Haruhi, I swiftly and expertly veered the conversation in the opposite direction. It wouldn't be very kingly of me to break down in a wallowing mess over Haruhi in front of the guests.

With the guests gone and the other hosts eating cake and playing around, I feel very lonely. It's true that it's my own fault for isolating myself from them lately, but that only makes it worse. I'm unhappy, plus it's all my own doing. Well, maybe not _all_my doing...

If only Kyoya were here, then I would feel better...

I don't even hear him come in until he clears his throat quite blatantly, claiming everyone's attention. I am about to leap out of my seat to hug him, but when I look at him, the impulse goes away. He is standing just in front of the door, which is still propped a couple feet open behind him. I at first think that it might be the suit that he's wearing that is making him look different, but upon more careful observation, I notice that there is definitely a calm smugness about him.

What are you up to, Mother?

"I apologize for being late," he announces to the rest of us as he pushes his glasses up. "Some unforeseen circumstances hindered my promptness."

I frown, knowing that that is probably all the excuse that we're going to be getting from him.

"So, to make up for my missing the host club today, I would like to invite all of you to dinner tonight," he says, as if it is a completely typical suggestion that he, of all people, would voluntarily and cheerily make on any other day.

"Really? Dinner with Kyo-chan and everyone?" Honey says, immediately bubbling with excitement and flashing Kyoya a warm smile. "Thank you, that would be so much fun! Can we go, Takashi?" he implores sweetly, tugging on Mori's jacket.

"Wait a second, Honey-senpai," the twins say before Mori has a chance to answer Honey.

The twins are not so easily convinced to dine with the host they frequently call the "demon lord." They're so mean to their poor mother!

"Why do you suddenly want to go to dinner with all of us, Kyoya-senpai?" they both ask suspiciously.

I am torn between joy and doubt at Kyoya's invitation, so I am willing to listen to what the twins have to say in case they raise a valid point. Maybe they will inject some logic into the matter.

"Kyoya-senpai is going to poison us!" Hikaru cries, losing his composure.

"And then he will conduct our funerals while wearing that black suit!" Kaoru cries in a similar tone.

I sigh inwardly. That was not the logic I was looking for. Is it wrong to want to strangle my own sons?

Kyoya shoots them a subtle dirty look, but before I can muster up the energy to defend him and perhaps attack the twins, he settles back into that baffling smugness.

"Well, if you all do not wish to take up my offer, I shall have to enjoy Haruhi's company all by myself..." he says, making my heart stop at the mention of her name and the context in which he put it. "Not that I would mind," he adds, giving us a brilliant and somewhat triumphant smile.

And that's when the door miraculously creaks open a little further.

_I never know what the future brings  
But I know you're here with me now..._

She slips in slowly and quietly, leaning sideways to peek into the room from behind Kyoya.


	5. Of Course

I'm rather sure I'm going to die.

Yes, I can feel my brain and my heart shutting down right at this very instant, and after those two go, it's only a matter of time before the rest of my body gives up...

No, I'm not exaggerating!

Well, only a little.

There she is, Haruhi, the axis my world rotates on, in the flesh.

She knows that the ambush will come, and that's why she's hiding behind Kyoya now, to use him as a human shield. Her strategy is futile, however, as Kyoya sidesteps and allows her to be enveloped by the others. She is out of sight seconds after appearing, lost in a sea of bodies and hysterics, but I have already memorized every detail of her.

She is wearing a dark red couture pea coat, one that is easily recognizable from the Hitachiin line. Her hair, perhaps half an inch to three quarters of an inch longer now, is held back by a white cloth headband that looks rather cheap, most likely something she bought herself. She is also wearing a black dress, ribbed black stockings, and simple black flats, all items seeming to be of her father's rather feminine taste, albeit the less flashy side of his taste.

How did I notice all of that so quickly?

Oh gosh, maybe I'm a stalker...

I am broken out of my dismal thoughts as the mass of hosts breaks apart. Haruhi turns to greet each person individually, and I watch her disbelievingly, my eyes cataloging the little details of her that I have already committed to memory.

There's a lot of talking and other noise going on, but none of it is really registering in my mind. I think the shock is taking up too much space in my brain, and that is why my listening ability is impaired.

Her first hug goes to Hikaru, who squeezes her tightly and swings her back and forth, disguising his urge to cry all over her by being his annoying self. Haruhi gives a small, wistful laugh, squeezes him back, and then pries him off with a teasing roll of the eyes.

As soon as she is free from Hikaru, Kaoru, unable to contain himself any longer, swoops in and locks her in another tight embrace. Unlike Hikaru, however, Kaoru loosens his hug and whispers something in her ear that causes her eyes to roll again. He lets go of her, and she shakes her head at him and smiles.

Kaoru steps away, and Haruhi's eyes search for her next host to greet. Her eyes land on Honey, who is standing apart from the group. When he doesn't move, she cocks her head. Then, big tears are seen welling up in Honey-senpai's eyes, and he runs into Haruhi's arms. She bends to his height for the hug, and she rests her chin on his shoulder, closing her eyes. When she opens her eyes again, I can see that they're also glossy with tears, even though they are not spilling. She pulls away from Honey and gives him a comforting pat on the shoulder, to which he smiles brightly, wiping his own tears away.

She then looks up at Mori, wondering if he will bend down so she can reach him for a proper hug. Instead, he lifts her straight up off the ground, and she catches herself by throwing her arms around his neck. She gives a surprised little laugh, and the others all look on happily as Mori-senpai and Haruhi share a very unique hug. He puts her down and pats her on the head like he does every once in a while, earning a fond, gentle smile from her.

I don't hear anything any of them say until Honey, nearly fully recovered from his episode of sadness, proclaims,"Haru-chan, you look beautiful!"

Honey-senpai is right. She does look beautiful. Her beauty breaks my heart.

All eyes fall on her embarrassed face, and after a humble thank you, she mutters something about Kyoya and her father forcing her to dress nicely.

And then her eyes start searching for something.

When she doesn't see what she is looking for anywhere near her, her eyes go to Kyoya, posing a question. He knowingly nods in my direction, and my heart drops. She's looking for _me._

When Kyoya nods toward me, the others move out of Haruhi's way so that she is able to see me, stunned and open-mouthed, sitting alone on the couch.

Our eyes finally lock for the first time in months, and I am completely and utterly lost for words.

She steps forward apprehensively and says, "Tamaki-senpai, would you like to come to dinner with us?"

I want to scream at the top of my lungs, "YES!"

But... something in me- something very strong- also wants to say no.

With one single look at her, my resolve had crumbled instantly.

I want to run.

_If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?  
If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?_

Did the sky carry my message across the world to her? Did it tell her my ill-fated secret? Is that why she's here now?

I don't think I can get my legs to push me up off of this couch. There will be no running for me.

Not this time.

Kyoya...

My eyes flit over to him, standing behind everyone else, and he gives me a hard, expectant stare.

Then Haruhi lifts an arm, extending one open hand toward me, and the option of saying no to her just flies out of the window.

Infusing as much warmth into my voice as possible, though not able to force a smile, I say, "Of course..."

And then my mind starts filling in the blank.

Of course I want to go to dinner with you.

Of course I want the host club to spend the evening together.

Of course I want to hear about how you've been doing.

Of course I want to be with you and see you smile and listen to your voice and watch your eyes fill with wonder...

Of course I can try to ignore all the pain that is welling up inside of me.

But all of those are left unsaid.


	6. I'll Change

It was all pretty much a blur after that. After I consented to go to dinner, everyone went off in different directions. They still all wait for my word in most situations whether they realize it or not, and I don't know how I feel about that. They all know that I'm an idiot, don't they? Why did they ever even listen to me in the first place?

Kyoya had ordered that everyone go home and get changed, seeing as he had reserved eight seats at the best restaurant within an hour of Ouran. He and Haruhi, already dressed, apparently were going to pick up Ranka-san from work and then head straight to the restaurant from there.

I barely even remember the ride home. I somehow made it up to my room and in front of my open closet, but I couldn't even think straight enough to change into an appropriate outfit. Luckily, I have the best staff in the world, all of whom came to my rescue and stuffed me quite forcefully into a navy blue suit.

I can't even dress myself. How pathetic.

And yet all of these people love me enough to help me... What a crazy world I live in.

Now I'm here at the restaurant, but as I am led to our table in a private corner by one of the hostesses, I see that everyone else has already arrived and gotten their beverages. I realize too late that my zombie-like state has caused me to be quite delayed in getting here.

"There you are, Tama-chan!" Honey-senpai cries from the nearer head of the table, turning to see me. "You took a long time to get here! We were starting to worry!"

I look at Ranka-san, who shoots a quick glare at Honey-senpai and mutters, "Speak for yourself, loli-boy."

Everyone either doesn't hear this comment or just chooses to ignore it. Either way, Ranka-san still hates me, though, at this point, I can't really say that I blame him.

"I apologize for taking so long, Honey-senpai, everyone," I say, bowing to the table. I take the only seat left and add simply, "There were a few issues at home that I had to clear up before I came here."

I see Kyoya cross his arms, and I look away shamefully. He obviously does not appreciate my tardiness or my lame excuse.

Honey-senpai, whom I am now seated next to, happily informs me, "Haru-chan was just telling us all about her life in Boston!"

"Yes, since Haruhi won't let us contact her directly..." Hikaru says resentfully.

Mirroring Hikaru's pout, Kaoru adds, "...and since the only updates we've gotten about her have been from Kyoya-senpai through Ranka-san."

"I'm sorry," Haruhi says sheepishly from the head of the table opposite of Honey-senpai.

Ranka-san is seated to her right, and Kyoya is next to him. Ranka-san has always favored Kyoya above the rest of us, especially me. Mori-senpai is between Kyoya and Honey-senpai, and the twins have formed a wall of separation (also known as a wall of noise and obnoxiousness) between Haruhi and me. I am almost thankful for this wall, because I'm still not sure what to think or feel or do about Haruhi.

Honey-senpai picks the conversation back up from the point where it was before I arrived, and my heart throbs painfully even as I listen to all of Haruhi's good reports. Instead of looking at her, I try to distract myself by taking in the beautiful and elegant Christmas decorations adorning the restaurant in all directions. They, of course, are by no means as lovely as Haruhi, but I know now that I don't deserve to take in too much of her beauty at once.

I am still listening, of course. Everything she says is positive. Her voice is cheerful as she speaks of her American experiences, her school, her new friends...

Hearing about all this is suddenly overwhelming.

"Excuse me," I find myself saying as I push my chair back and stand up.

Kyoya gives me that deathly stare again and also starts to stand up, but I shake my head at him in a barely perceptible way. He settles back down in his chair, but I can see that he wants to come after me and hurt me.

I swiftly walk out of the view of the others and toward the front of the restaurant. I bolt straight out the door, and the sudden blast of cold air is like a punch in the face.

I move a little ways down the sidewalk, once again adjusting to the temperature. My breath is visible in front of me, and I try not to breathe so hard. I look up at the blank, gray sky that is growing darker even as I watch it, and I give it that death stare that Kyoya only gives me when I commit my worst offenses, as if it is the sky's fault that I am having these problems.

As I run a shaky hand through my hair, I seriously consider stepping back in the restaurant, leaving enough money to cover everyone's meals, and getting as far away from here as I can.

Not wanting to see the sky anymore or my breath in front of me, I squeeze my eyes shut, my face still turned upward.

"No, I can't run away," I say out loud to myself. "I told myself that I would stop running. Get back in there, you idiot. It shouldn't last too long. You can do it."

"Is it that hard to have dinner with me?"

I spin around to see Haruhi standing there, and I throw a hand over my chest to make sure that my soul doesn't fly right out of me.

"What? Haruhi, n-no!" I sputter. "Eh... it's not you, it's me!"

Oh my gosh. I am the biggest, most clichéd moron on the face of the planet.

"Tamaki-senpai..." she says sadly, looking down at the sidewalk.

I'm going to faint. She's standing right in front of me. She said my name. I'm going to faint.

"...have I done something to upset you?" she finishes, turning her eyes up to meet mine.

She's looking at me. She's looking up at me and asking me a question. She's so cute. I'm going to faint.

I realize that an appropriate answer needs to come out of my mouth soon, but I don't know what to say.

I want to say no, because I don't want her to feel bad, but the truth is that she totally broke my heart.

Not on purpose, of course, but a broken heart is a broken heart.

Suddenly, something in the back of my brain tells me to start asking instead of answering.

"Why did you leave with so little warning?" I ask quickly, before I have time to think and stop myself.

"I didn't want to be stopped," she answers firmly.

"Why wouldn't you let us contact you directly?"

"I didn't want any distractions."

"Why did you leave Ouran after you went through so much trouble to stop me from leaving?"

There is a terrible pause, and her face becomes angry.

"Those two things are completely different! You were going to screw up your whole life by marrying her! I, on the other hand, am trying to better myself, and I'm only living in America for a single semester! I'll be returning to Ouran at the end of January, not moving to France permanently!"

I am quite taken aback at her outburst and at the fact that her words actually make sense to me.

Her fists are clenched, and her flushed face is set in an expression of mild outrage.

I feel so guilty and stupid for making her angry.

"Well?" she says, a little out of breath and waiting for me to respond to what she's said.

"I'll change," I say in a small voice, turning my gaze to the ground so that my hair falls over my eyes.

"What?" she says uncertainly.

"I'll change," I repeat, not daring to look up. "If how I am now is not right for you, I'll change."

"What are you talking about? What does that have to do with-"

"I miss you so much!" I suddenly burst out with, tears falling from my eyes as something in me gives.

_'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away..._

"Tamaki-senpai, I'm right here," she says.

_I don't know why you're so far away..._

I speak again, my panicked voice growing louder and faster with each word, "I've realized that you're not my daughter and that I'm not your father and that I'm an idiot and that I'm in love with you and that I'm not made for you even though I thought that I was-"

I stop my rant when I realize that Haruhi's mouth has fallen open in shock. Her eyes are even bigger than usual, and she places a hand over her mouth, which is still wide open.

She slowly asks in a bewildered voice, "You- you realized that you're an idiot?"

I swear that this girl will be the end of me.


	7. All That Matters

I just stand there and stare at her, in complete disbelief.

And then a certain name screams across my mind...

_Shima-san!_

My eye twitches slightly, and I mentally yell to her.

_This was your idea, Shima-san! You told me to tell her that I love her, and I just did, but she didn't even acknowledge it! All she heard was that I know that I'm an idiot! What do I do now? This is terrible!_

During my little in-head rant to Shima-san, Haruhi has time to collect herself, and she finally breaks the silence after emitting a small gasp.

"Tamaki-senpai, the rest of what you said..." she starts, and my heart jumps.

So she did hear me say that I love her?

She continues, "You said that you also realized that you're not my father?"

"Is it too late to run away now?" I ask, but she doesn't hear me, still marveling over her new revelation.

"What else did you say after the father part and the idiot part?" she asks suddenly, confirming that she really didn't hear me the first time.

My knees are on the verge of buckling.

It was hard enough to say the first time, and now she wants me to say it again? Such blind cruelty...

But then I realize something incredibly important.

Haruhi has come after me again.

She is standing outside this restaurant in the cold because of me. At a time when I was tempted to leave her, she has followed me of her own accord and has tried to convince me to come back.

This has to mean something... doesn't it?

"Why did you come out here, Haruhi?" I ask while fearing that her answer will not be what I expect.

She pauses for a moment, and a faint blush appears on her cheeks.

"Tamaki-senpai, did you know that I was very angry with you after you tried to leave for France?" she asks.

This, of course, is not what I expected her to say at all.

"No," I say, frowning at her guiltily. "I didn't know that. When I returned, you mostly seemed... relieved."

"I _was _relieved, but underneath that relief, there was also confusion... and hurt," she relays to me. "I thought about this a lot while I was in Boston..."

She looks embarrassed. I feel embarrassed. How could I not have seen that I caused these emotions in her? How could I not know the effect that I had on this person that I claim to love?

"Do you know why I was angry, Tamaki-senpai?"

I shake my head, terrified as to what the answer to her question will be.

"I was angry because of your willingness. You were so ready and willing to go off with her to a completely different life. You were so ready to leave everything we all had behind, as if it weren't something special. You made us all believe in something special, and then you were willing to just put it in your past, as if it hadn't meant the world to each of us. Yes, you were easily persuaded to come back, but if we... if I... didn't go after you, you would be in France right now. An ex-host. Married. When I think of how you were willing to do all of that, it makes me think that maybe I shouldn't have tried to stop it... but then I know that you wouldn't be happy with that life. And I wouldn't be happy if I knew that you weren't happy."

She's... starting to cry.

"Haruhi... I-"

"Do you know why I left without speaking to you? Because I knew if I so much as _looked _at you while you had a look of protest on your face, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I also knew that I couldn't pass up such an opportunity to study abroad for free, and I also thought that maybe these _feelings_ would subside while I was away..."

"Haruhi, I love-"

"...but they didn't!" she cries, tears now slipping down her face. "They only got stronger-"

"Haruhi, you... I... I love you," I say dumbly.

She looks at me through her tears, stunned.

"I love you," I repeat, wanting to make sure she gets the message this time. "I love you," I say as I place my hands on her shoulders, which are cold to the touch. I feel a slight tremor go through her.

"I really love you," I say as I stare straight down into her eyes.

Her startled look is stunning.

Her surprised face, flushed and tear-stained, is radiance.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I say over and over again, the words now falling easily from my lips as I pull her closer to me.

It's the truth. It's the undeniable truth, and suddenly, in this moment, that's all that matters.

"Tamaki-senpai-"

She's so close now. I breathe her in, and she possesses me.

_I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today  
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right  
And though I can't be with you tonight  
You know my heart is by your side_

"I love-" I start, but I don't finish.

I gather her up in my arms and kiss her gently, hoping with everything in me that she doesn't push me away, because that would truly be the end of me.

I don't pull away quickly, keeping my lips on hers and just wanting to stay in the moment forever.

She doesn't move.

When I do pull away, her eyes are closed. She grows an inch shorter, and I realize with a start that her heels had come off of the ground. Did she...?

She opens her big, beautiful eyes, and they latch onto mine, taking my breath away once again.

"...you," she says simply.

My mind starts firing in ten different directions, trying to interpret the meaning of her singular word.

And then I remember the last thing that I said, and my heart stops.

I really must learn to control this thing inside of my chest.

"You mean..." I start, but she cuts me off with a small, quick nod.

She is still in my arms, and she looks like she is either going to laugh or cry.

She does a little of both and then hides her face by burying it in my shirt.

I don't know whether to be elated or horrified.

"Haruhi, I'm still kind of an idiot," I tell her quietly after a little while, hugging her a little tighter to me. "Would you please clarify what all this means for me?"

She gives a half-hearted laugh against me, trembling a little at the same time. With her head still buried, she mumbles a few words, but I don't catch any of them.

"What was that?" I ask softly.

She rapidly removes her head from my chest, looks determinedly into my eyes, and blurts out, "I love you."

I nod my head in acknowledgement, not saying anything because my mouth is completely dry.

I'm still trying to process her words, but the faraway look in my eyes seems to make her nervous.

"I love you," I quickly say, not wanting her to doubt it for a second.

"So I've heard," she says with a light laugh that makes all of the blood go out of my face.

Have I said it too many times? Is she annoyed? I must sound like an idiot. Haruhi does not need me to be an idiot...

"I'm going to change, Haruhi, I promise. I'll change for you."

"Don't you dare," she snaps, and even she seems surprised by herself.

She steps back, and I release her from my arms.

She looks at the ground and says softly, "I... I love you, Tamaki-senpai. How you are. If you change, it won't be for me. Please don't."

"But Haruhi," I say, confused as ever. "I'm an idiot. I thought... I thought that you-"

She makes me fall silent with the violent shaking of her head. "Please... promise that you won't try to be someone different on account of me," she says seriously.

"But-"

"Promise," she demands, looking up at me with new tears in her eyes.

"I promise!" I exclaim, not wanting her to have to cry anymore.

I bend down and quickly wrap my arms back around her to comfort both her and myself, and it finally hits me like a ton of bricks. Like two tons of bricks. And an elephant.

I gasp lightly by her ear, and she immediately asks, "What?"

"Haruhi loves me," I giggle childishly, unable to contain myself. "I love her, and she loves me too."

She emits a short, disbelieving laugh and then releases a long sigh of relief.

When we separate again, I feel that my face is oddly expressionless when I tell her, "Haruhi, I'm so happy. I think I'm going to die."

Her face becomes alarmed, and I give a little undignified snort. She's so cute.

She gives me a light smack on the arm, which I pretend hurts me greatly.

And when she smiles at me, I know that we've just made it past a huge obstacle, and with her by my side, we will be able to get through any obstacle life has in store for us.

_I know that this much is true  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with  
I hope I love you all my life_

And as she kisses me of her own volition, I know what I want for Haruhi and me.

Something lasting.

Yes, something lasting is what I want for the two of us.

"_What... _do you want?" he snarls at me.

Even his early-morning grumpiness can't bring down my happy mood.

"Good morning, Kyoya!" I say cheerfully into my cell phone. "I want to invite you to-"

"No," he growls automatically.

"Wait, Kyoya! I want to invite you to my house tonight-"

"Why?" he interrupts. "So your demon mutt can attack me again?"

"She's not a mutt or a demon!" I protest, defending Antoinette's honor. "She was just... excited to see you!"

I should probably wait until later to tell him that Antoinette was getting revenge on him on my behalf even though I told her firmly on more than one occasion that such tackling and overzealous slobbering would not be necessary.

"I'm not coming," he says angrily, and I know that he is about to hang up.

"Kyoya! Wait! Please don't hang up," I beg. I try a third time, "I want to invite you to my house tonight for dinner with Haruhi and me. You see, I've set up a kotatsu-"

"Here we go," he mutters, but I am not deterred.

"-and I want you to share the kotatsu with us as a symbol of-"

"Please, spare me," he says.

Kyoya doesn't like to hear me go on about how great of a friend he is, especially so early in the morning.

"Fine, but please come, Kyoya. I want you to be there to break in my new kotatsu!"

"_No_."

"But I really wanted to share this momentous occasion with two of the people I love most in the whole wide world! Have I mentioned lately how much I love you, Kyoya?"

"Tamaki, I will _kill_ you."

His tone is almost convincing, and the threat makes me shiver a bit, like it always has.

But I can't give up!

"Kyoya! Mon meilleur ami! Please? Please! Please please please-"

"Shut up!" he demands. "Lock up the mutt, I want to sit on the opposite side of the kotatsu as you so I can be as far away from you as possible, and if you even _think _of trying to hug me again-"

My heart fills with joy. "So that's a yes? Thank you so much, Kyoya! I'll see you tonight! It'll be fun, I promise!"

I hear him mumble something that sounds a lot like 'moron' before I swiftly hang up, not pushing my luck and also not giving him a chance to change his mind.

I hear a scratching at my door, and I go and answer it, knowing that it is Antoinette. She is also an early riser.

As soon as I open the door, she bursts through and tackles me, knocking me to the floor.

"Antoinette!" I cry helplessly as she lovingly attacks my face, coating me with wet affection.

When she finally calms down a bit, I tell her, "Antoinette, I need to talk to you."

She plops down onto the ground by my side and cocks her head curiously. She has always been very perceptive.

"Haruhi and Kyoya are coming over tonight, and Kyoya is afraid that you will do what you did to him the last time he visited," I tell her.

Antoinette looks both amused and proud of her accomplishments.

"Unfortunately, he has demanded that you have no contact with him tonight. Otherwise, he may not ever come over again. I'm sorry, but you'll have to stay in the opposite wing of the mansion with Shima-san tonight while he is here," I regretfully inform her.

She whines heavily, and I have to find the determination to resist those big, sad eyes.

"I'm sorry, Antoinette, but I did tell you not to attack him, didn't I?" I gently remind her.

Her whine goes down to a low whimper, and she hangs her head. I can tell that she is disappointed that she will not get to see Kyoya. She is actually very fond of him, despite her willingness to exact revenge upon him.

"Don't worry, girl. I'm sure Kyoya will forgive you eventually. Just give him time. Kyoya is my best friend," I tell her with a smile, giving her the best-friend spiel that Kyoya would not let me give him. "He is one of the kindest people I have ever met...

Antoinette listens attentively as I go on and on about him, even though she has heard me say all the same words time and time again.

We've already had a long conversation and dinner, but I am still practically bouncing with sheer happiness.

Haruhi is not nearly as excited, but she has seemed very content this whole time, which adds exponentially to my joy.

Kyoya looks utterly bored as he sips his tea on the opposite side of my kotatsu, but I see past it.

An idea suddenly pops into my head, and I jump up from the kotatsu, almost tripping as I run over to my computer.

"Tamaki?" Haruhi asks.

"I found this gorgeous song, and you both simply must hear it right now! It's mostly piano and strings, and it's kind of sad at first, but it's really pretty, and I know you'll love it, and just let me find it-"

"Breathe, Tamaki!" Haruhi says with a small laugh.

It's so cute how she always tells me to breathe. I think she wants me to not die or something.

"No, it's okay if you don't want to breathe, really," Kyoya says in a flat voice.

"Kyoya!" Haruhi scolds, and when I glance back, I can see him holding back a laugh.

The song loads, and I hit the play button, turning up the volume and letting the powerful yet gentle music sweep through the room.

Haruhi's eyes soften as she looks at me, and I smile at her.

I start walking back toward her, but after a glance at me, Kyoya stands and holds out a hand to her.

"Would you like to dance, Haruhi?" he asks, the picture of the perfect gentleman.

Kyoya!

This must be payback for the trouble he had to go through for me today... and for all the trouble he had to go through to bring Haruhi and I together... and all the trouble he always goes through for me.

Haruhi seems thoroughly surprised by the offer, but she takes his hand anyways, not daring to refuse him.

When she is on her feet, he whispers something in her ear, and she visibly relaxes, seeming suddenly amused by whatever he has said.

They begin to slowly dance, crossing the floor in their socks, and it makes my heart surge to see these two people that I care so much about enjoying each other's company, even if one of them is just trying to get my goat and the other is just playing along. I swear I don't know how my heart manages to keep from bursting with all this love that keeps being poured into it.

Partway through the song, I make my way over and bow, saying, "May I cut in?"

"Sure, he's all yours," Haruhi says casually, releasing Kyoya and stepping back.

I am momentarily stunned as they both look at me with blank expressions.

Kyoya pushes up his glasses and sighs. "Are you sure that you've realized that you're an idiot?"

A grin breaks out on Haruhi's face, and she lets a laugh escape. Kyoya shakes his head, that grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as he turns back to the kotatsu and sits down to finish his tea.

Wait, what just happened?

"I was joking, Tamaki," Haruhi says gently, and when I finally get it, I chuckle and pull her into my arms.

The song starts over, and we begin to dance.

My heart squeezes as I think about the fact that I'm here because of her. This is where she wants me to be.

"Is there any way that I can stay in your arms forever, Haruhi?" I whisper.

Her only response is a soft smile, but I surely don't miss that brief glimmer of hope in her eyes that sets my whole being on fire.

After Haruhi and I finished dancing, Kyoya thanked Haruhi for the dance and me for the hospitality and promptly excused himself.

Before he could escape through the door, though, I spun him around and enveloped him in a hug.

He grumbled, "Tamaki, what did I tell you on the phone?"

"I'm sorry! I'm just so happy!"

"You're worse than Antoinette. Get off of me," he said stiffly.

"Wait, just a few more seconds," I requested, squeezing him hard.

"I am going to kill you," he said in a low voice so that Haruhi couldn't hear.

"Okay! Bye! Have a nice night!" I had exclaimed after jumping away from him.

That threat is even scarier in person.

Now it is just Haruhi and me. She comes to my side of the kotatsu and settles herself next to me, looking rather tired. I reach behind me and pick up Kuma-chan, handing him to her. I always keep him nearby, just in case. She holds tightly onto Kuma-chan as she shifts against me to get more comfortable. I'm very glad that they've become such good friends.

She, to my utter fascination, falls asleep in my arms. I kiss the top of her head, and everything is right in the world.

"Maybe I _am_ made for you," I whisper into her hair.

Now I know that there will truly be no more running away for me. I'm sure of it.

This is the dream, I realize as I look down at her.

She's so cute.

She's so... beautiful.

I gently lift her hand and move my thumb over her ring finger.

There is nothing there now, but there will be, someday soon.

* * *

**The song I had in mind for the dancing scene is actually an instrumental of "If You're Not the One," a cover by Myleene Klass. It is gorgeous, and I recommend it highly.**

**Again, thank you all so much, and I truly hope you enjoyed this story.**

**-Skye Maxwell**


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